it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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