I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
