i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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