Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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