SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
