"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize