Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
