Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
