I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
