We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
