Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
