but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
