its not stalking. its research.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
