I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
