He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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