FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize