You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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