the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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