He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
