rhymes with "ouble enetration"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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