I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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