girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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