I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
