Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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