Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
