definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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