it was like eating out sand paper
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
