Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Randomize
