Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
