not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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