Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
