I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
