So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
