By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
