i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
