there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize