we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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