If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
