She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
