He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
