just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
