So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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