just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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