and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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