New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
