Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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