Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
