He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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