I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
