I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
