Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
