we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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