that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
