Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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