i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am available for nakedness
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
