I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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