Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
