I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
