I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You're like the curious george of whores
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
