I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
