I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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