He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
