hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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