I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
