eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
4 words: hood of his car
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
