he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
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the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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