i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
