so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
