The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
