She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
