just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
