fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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